now i remember

haha ok ya after reading angela's blog, i now remember what this camp experiance was mostly like...

erm to put it simply i felt kinda like a superstar... i know this sounds arrogant and all, and i pray u guys will forgive me for saying this but... it was because being an ygz and all was kinda glamourous and all that hooha and everyone wished they were in your shoes... in a way la... then they shower u with love... tks guys for all your letters and cheers and smiles and hugs btw... but u seem too busy, too stressed, too focused to take it all in. such is the curse of my position, the position as games i/c, ironically, the very same position that i was a 'superstar' for. sometimes i found myself thinking "ya they all want this, but if they know what shit i'm gg thru, they'd rather stay a camper..." haha do high profile pple feel like this? ok. really, pls pls forgive me for sounding so arrogant and jaded. i'm just trying to express sth here.

sigh... i really pressured myself too much this time round... the camp just flew by, marked by the major kangle events... BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT..... That being said, it was all worth it. cos i found u guys. thru the thick veneers of work and stress in camp, the piercing light of love really shone thru and hit me. i know i'm closer to all u guys after this camp, esp the other ygz and my olps guys... as for my old friends, my ancient legion friends... angela, pet, robin, nigel... i rekindled something that was lost for a while, cos bmt sort of took me away from the outside world, what with me being emo about being away from home and all... it helped me find a passion and oomph once again...

and enough about me... seeing the love u guys pour out... in the letters, the blogs, the conference calls... love for each other, ove for Legion, love for God... really makes it a triumph for me, reminds me why i do this, makes camps something a little more than a do-it-for-the-sake-of-doing-it kinda thing. no.wait. a lot more. a lot lot more.

haha... i think the way i feel is sort of mirrored in those more lao jiao ygz. but let me tell u something. the 1st or 2nd time u become ygz is really a hell of an amazing unforgettable beutiful magical captivating experience. don't believe me, ask monica. i think she feels that way. but as a lao jiao... which i daresay i am, it feels... still really great but not as great as the first few times la... sadly. but every camp is different. every camp has something new. every camp has something special.

but one thing i always love... those really late nights when u have to keep urself awake by remaining high... and doing dam lame but hilarious things and laughing for no reason... and... shh... gossips. ok, lets face it. we all love to gossip. love it. we all love scandals. we all love laughing at pple...

haha...